So I've been reminiscing about old memories and Manor, Texas where I used to live. I was remembering all the friends I had. The ones who walked with me to the bus stop, the ones who I laughed with on the way to school, the friends I said hi to at lunch but didn't really eat with, the people I said hi to in the hallways, the ones who I waited before school started with, etc. The list goes on and on for a little while. But all those people, I really didn't pay much attention to them, I didn't call them my besties or my good friends. I considered them just friends, just some more people to laugh with.

And as I have been thinking about these memories, I've actually come to a realization, those friends never left me, I never had the drama with them, I never fought with them or had the drama of losing them and them being friends with them again then losing them and becoming friends again etc. But the point is, they never left me, they always comforted me, they always laughed with me, understood me. And I've realized something...

The best friends in life, aren't the ones you spend all your time with, they aren't the ones who you talk with on the phone 24/7, the best friends in life aren't the ones your always focused on, it's the ones you don't really focus on. The best friends in life are the ones you don't pay that much attention to.

And it this realization hurts. I wish I would have given them more, more attention, more love, more happiness, more of a friend. And then maybe all of those bad things wouldn't have happened, just maybe, I might still be there, and none of this crap would have happened.

I feel kind of ashamed, remorseful, and guilty. And I miss Manor still. ALL of you were my besties, I guess, I just didn't see it at the time.